Sometimes

my mind is mud-wrestling.  Competing thoughts are roiling, boiling, burbling, and turning.  The ref is no where to be found and the rules are discarded.

The trick here is, not to make it go away, but rather; learning to cope with things as they are.  Experience has shown that if I try to Make It Go Away, then the state of my sanity tends to worsen in very short time.  So much so that I can work myself right in anxiety episodes, the likes of which are not a joy to witness let alone being the panicked person (me).

Sometimes I am deliriously happy and joyful and want to share the wonderful euphoria amongst all of mankind.  We all should feel so gladdened and, well, just great and swell about everyone and everything.  This can be an extremely dangerous time for me, because during phases of mania, my sense of judgement is not the best.

I am still responsible for all my actions and the consequences, but I am particularly vulnerable to what I call "the super syndrome" in which I think "it's ALLLLLLLLLLLL goooooooooooooooood (aahh)".  Impulsive behavior becomes problematic, if I don't keep a close rein on myself.  Therein lies the crux of the matter, for I feel so good that I don't want to be rational.  Actually, sometimes what seems rational during those times can be some of the oddest ideas to be conceived.

Sometimes, in my self-monitoring, I can become obsessive and worry about a pleasant feeling.  Is this happiness ok, or is it an indication of mania and I need to be extra aware and tone it down?  It's times like those that I can talk myself right into being so confused, doubtful, and anxious that I become depressed.

Sometimes, that is what life is like, for me.  It might be similar to what someone you know experiences.  Especially if that person is dealing with bipolar disorder (manic depression).