Ain't no dummee...

Weekend Assignment #39: Tell us about the toy you had to have for the holidays when you were a kid, only to find out it was kinda disappointing once you had it.

Extra Credit: Tell us the most unrealistic holiday gift request you ever made.

Well, I gotta say when I first looked at the John M. Scalzi Weekend Assignment, I had more than a momentary pause of nothingness.  I thought that I never had one of those whiney kid pining for THE toy that ya just hadta have.  Not me.

Right.

Then I remembered...

One year, I was about 10 or so, all year long I was certain that I wanted to be a ventriloquist.  I just knew that I could learn to throw my voice and that if I had a real dummy, then I could be the funniest kid around and well on my way to breaking into show-business.  Why, it'd be better than joining the circus...which I could do, if I had an act with the dummy.

I yammered on about it endlessly.  If mom or dad was around for long enough, I would yap about how I really wanted a dummy.  I was a child who did not ask for lots of things, and certainly not repeatedly as a habit.  If I asked mom for something, she said "no" or "we'll see".  If you pushed it, then the "we'll see" became, NO.

So, when I talked about the dummy, I had to tread carefully.  I wanted it so badly, so I built a case for having it.  I asked dad if we could make one, in his shop.  I talked with mom about sewing one.  Dummies were not terribly popular, not a fad.  So even looking for them was hard.  Cuz lots of stores just did not have them.

My birthday came in November.  No dummy.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to get my dummy and I was going to have to make some sock muppets for me.

But what to my unbelieving eyes should appear under the tree for me that christmas eve?  A SIMON SEZ DUMMY!!!  He was hard plastic, with a hinged jaw and a head that turned.  His shirt was yellow with blue "SIMON" and his pants where red.  Love at first sight.

I was so ashamed throughout the following months about how little I actually developed my skills to use the dummy.  I have no idea how much it cost, but I felt that it must have cost lots and there I was, barely using it.  I did not find the dummy to be nearly as life-changing, or thrilling, as I had built it up to be.

I set myself up for a big disappointment.  It made me feel bad that I did not appreciate it as much as I thought I should.  I mean, that was a big treat from my folks.

As for the unrealistic present I've ever asked for...I honestly can't think of one.  I know that I've had unrealistic wishes, but not for any particular present.  I wished I was graceful and strong, could be a gymnast, or ballet dancer, or ice-skater.  I wish I was more energetic and more fit, more lean and tone, less pudgee.